By Almendra Carrion
What opportunity are we missing by getting carried away only by a person's photos on an online dating profile? Are we acting from a superficial perspective by not allowing the opportunity to get to know each other? Technology has a positive impact on us because we get to be closer despite the distances. However, we are forgetting the importance of having a clear intention while doing it. Swiping right or left is a method we are relying on to find our future partners.
“In the past, dating used to have a purpose to get married, now dating is about having sexual relations with other people. At this point, it should have a new name, ‘hookup culture.’” said Anise Lowe, a communications and media studies junior.
Getting to know a person can be fun because you can show yourself and your humanity. Being vulnerable involves expressing your deepest desires, past experiences, and needs. Dating organically may possibly bring excitement and flow naturally. Next time you see a person you like, be confident and break the ice. Who knows?
While hookup culture encourages intimacy without being emotionally involved, it has also grown into this new perspective of how we respect individual experiences and each other’s sexuality. But it is important to be conscious of the needs and desires of yourself and others. Emotional responsibility requires accountability and integrity.
Also, since social media is so accessible, catfishing and embellishing are issues to keep in mind when getting to know somebody.
There can be many fake profiles out there. We must be cautious about who we interact with on the internet. Some dating apps such as Bumble, ask you for verification on your profile. You take a picture of yourself to prove your account.
“Social media has distorted the dating world because there are many people you cannot trust. I think in my family and friends, everyone that has been in a successful relationship has been people they met in person, and they became friends before dating” said Alexandra Bello, an advertising sophomore.
Dating apps bombard you with so many options that can be overwhelming and intimidating. Most prospects try to show the best version of themselves: “My interests include hiking, running marathons, traveling the world, going to the gym, etc.” Swiping right or left determines if you both like each other but it is just the first step. Social media is part of the new dating apps of this generation because liking and commenting on photos are initiatives to meet a person.
“I think the dating world is nonexistent. You meet on Instagram, meet at school, you get somebody’s number. And you link together, they do not ask you to go on a date or plan anything. ‘Come to my house, let’s chill.’ After three times we chill in the house, we’re together. There is no intention of talking to get to know each other. In my opinion, be yourself, ask about their goals, values, financial, do not rely only on looks, also do it in the beginning of the relationship.” said Ja’shya Howes, a radio and television commination junior.
Prospects can be direct in the beginning of the interaction. It is a goal to achieve, but it can get too to-the-point. The dating experience can also be the opposite and just not flow because there’s no spark.
Just remember that dating is practice. The more questions we ask, the more we get to know each other. Go beyond the “Where are you from?” and the “Do you have any hobbies?” You have to know what you want can help you get what you want.
Here are five hacks to succeed in the dating world:
1. Be intentional if you are looking for a relationship or something casual, mention it
2. Ask the uncomfortable questions, it is easy to talk about topics we like or feel comfortable with, but the challenging ones gets us closer together
3. Do not assume, if you want to get to know a person ask them to go on a date
4. Love and get to know yourself before pouring that love to a new person
5. Be authentic, whoever is with you is fortunate, DO NOT FORGET IT!